


When I See An Elephant Fly

by kyjr



Category: Johnny's Entertainment, KAT-TUN (Band)
Genre: AU, Fluff, Humour, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-10-14
Updated: 2013-10-14
Packaged: 2017-12-29 09:49:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,383
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1003951
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kyjr/pseuds/kyjr
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Prompt: Nakamaru can suddenly understand/talk to his dogs. They want to help him to get together with Ueda.</p>
            </blockquote>





	When I See An Elephant Fly

   
“You had the dream about him again, didn’t you?”  
   
Nakamaru woke with a start, floundering around in the darkness for the switch to his bedside lamp, heart pounding in fright. Once the light was on, he quickly looked about the room, trying to find the source of the voice.  
   
“Hello?” he called nervously, sitting up in his bed.  
   
“Hello.”  
   
Nakamaru screamed.  
   
“Woah, woah, calm down!” the voice said, the hint of a foreign accent on its tongue, “Keep your pants on, Yuichi.”  
   
“Who’s there?” Nakamaru asked, already leaning over the side of the bed and fumbling around under it for that baseball bat he _knew_ was under there.  
   
“It’s me, you bleeding idiot,” the voice said again. It was definitely male.  
   
“Who are you?” Nakamaru called, voice shaky as his fingers attempted to grab the bat, fingertips just inches away from it. “ _Where_ are you?”  
   
Choco leapt onto the bed, and Nakamaru drew him near, pressing a finger to his lips and telling him to be quiet. The dog just looked at him, big brown eyes staring into his own. “I’m right here.”  
   
Nakamaru toppled off the bed in shock.  
   
When he came back round, he was lying flat on his back on the floor, both of his dogs staring down at him. “D’you think he’s alive—“  
   
“Hush, Choco, he’s waking up.”  
   
Nakamaru blinked at them. They just waved their tails right back.  
   
“Did I hit my head or something?” Nakamaru mumbled, sitting up and holding his head, dislodging the dogs from his chest. There was just no way that—  
   
“You ‘right, Yuu?” Choco asked.  
   
Nakamaru screamed again, scrambling to his feet, but his dogs followed him, tails wagging behind them. “Go away!” was the only thing he could think of yelling, but Mister just cocked his head at him as he stopped.  
   
“We’re here to help you with your… problem,” Mister said, but Nakamaru just stood there with his mouth open. “Yuichi?”  
   
“But you’re… talking to me!”  
   
Mister sighed. “Yes. Yes I am. Surprise,” he said dryly. Choco chuckled.  
   
“No, this can’t be happening,” Nakamaru was saying, “I’m too young for dogs to start talking to me.” The dogs just stared at him blankly. “And, what problem? I don’t have a problem,” Nakamaru added.  
   
“Sit down,” Mister said, trotting over to the couch. Nakamaru followed, mind still reeling. He was taking orders from a talking dog.  
   
His dogs had never spoken before. Why were they starting now? Why did they speak with German accents? And why did Mister speak with such a pompous tone? He wondered if anyone else’s dogs could speak. Or maybe it was just him – maybe he was the only one who could hear them.  
   
This was going to be a long day.  
   
“I’m sitting,” Nakamaru said, wiping his sweaty palms on the couch, “Now what? Are you two going to start tap-dancing or something?” Oh God, he hoped not. He didn’t know how much he could handle.  
   
But the two just leapt up onto the coffee table. “No!” Nakamaru yelped. “Bad dogs!”  
   
They stared at him.  
   
“…Right. Sorry.”  
   
“Anyhow,” Mister continued, giving Choco a rather withering look. “No licking yourself when we’re in a serious conversation!”  
   
Choco’s ears drooped. “Sorry.”  
   
Mister sighed. “I’ve told you before—anyway. You.”  
   
Nakamaru jumped. “Me?”  
   
“You,” Choco repeated. “You have a problem.”  
   
“No, I don’t,” Nakamaru said. Well. Other than the fact that he could suddenly understand dogs.  
   
“You do. Stop arguing with us.”  
   
“…Okay.” Mister was quite persuasive.  
   
“You had that dream again, didn’t you?” Choco asked, lying down on the coffee table and crossing his paws. Nakamaru cringed at the dirt that would be left behind on the glass top.  
   
“What dream?” Nakamaru asked, rather panicked. Could they now read his mind?  
   
“We can’t read your mind.”  
   
Nakamaru stared.  
   
“Oh shush,” Mister said, rolling his eyes. Well, Nakamaru supposed he rolled his eyes. He couldn’t really tell. “You’ve been talking about this dream for ages.”  
   
Nakamaru had told them of this particular dream.  But he didn’t actually think they were paying him any attention. “What…dream…?” he asked slowly. Maybe they were bluffing.  
   
Mister stared at him, looking unimpressed. “You know exactly what I’m talking about, Yuichi.”  
   
“…Sorry.”  
   
“Right, so—Choco, _please_ , show some discipline!” Mister cried, snapping at Choco, who just sighed and laid his head on his paws. “This dream of yours, Yuichi,” he said, and Nakamaru found himself wishing they would stop calling him Yuichi. It just sounded _weird_. “You’re having it every night.”  
   
“How do you know?”  
   
“You talk in your sleep,” Mister said.  
   
“You snore, too,” Choco added, but Mister ignored him.  
   
“So, are you going to do something about these dreams, or are we going to have to push you?” Nakamaru felt a chill go down his spine at the tone Mister used.  
   
“How much do you know about my dreams?” Nakamaru asked cautiously.  
   
“A fair bit. But why don’t you tell us about them?”  
   
And so Nakamaru found himself telling his dogs all about these dreams – they were sometimes less than dreams and more like thoughts, or fantasies playing out in his mind. They always revolved around the man who lived across the hall from his apartment. Ueda Tatsuya.  
   
Nakamaru dreams would change, but they all would end the same way. With the two kissing, in front of Ueda’s door, Ueda’s hands in Nakamaru’s hair and Nakamaru’s hands on Ueda’s hips, drawing him closer. Then Nakamaru would wake up, back to a reality where Ueda wasn’t his.  
   
It kind of worried him that his dogs were paying such close attention to his story. Choco cocked his head, regarding him carefully.  
   
“Sounds like you’ve got an unrequited love, right there,” he said, scratching his ear with his hind leg, his tag clinking against his collar. Nakamaru briefly wondered if they had fleas, and mentally checked to see how long it had been since they had last had their flea drops. Then he understood what Choco was saying.  
   
“I don’t have an unrequ—okay, I do,” he said, defeated, burying his head in his hands. “What do I do?” he mumbled.  
   
Mister leapt up to the couch, placing a reassuring paw on Nakamaru’s knee. “There there, it’s okay. That’s what we’re here for,” he said, and Choco barked an agreement. Nakamaru looked at them.  
   
“What do you mean?”  
   
“We’re going to help you confess,” Mister said, with what Nakamaru thought was a smile on his face.  
   
“Because by God, you’re gonna need it,” Choco added, ducking from the glares that both Mister and Nakamaru sent him.

  
   
>>><<< 

  
   
 “He’s here!” Choco yelped, rushing to the door and clawing at it. “He’s here!”  
   
“Okay, shush, we don’t want to give away our plan,” Mister whined, swatting at Choco’s back legs.  
   
“What plan?” Nakamaru asked, bewildered. “You haven’t told me about a plan!”  
   
But his dogs ignored him. “Open the door and greet him!” Mister hissed, winding around Nakamaru’s legs and forcing him forward.  
   
Nakamaru stumbled out of the apartment, the dogs swinging the door closed behind him with a bang. Ueda turned, surprised, accidentally dropping the bag of groceries he was carrying. “God damn it—“ he muttered, swiping the hair out of his face before bending down to collect the items rolling across the floor.  
   
Nakamaru could hear his dogs barking at him from the other side of the door. “Er… hi.”  
   
Ueda glanced up at him with frustrated eyes. “Hi. Could you help me here?”  
   
“Oh, sure,” Nakamaru said, quickly crouching down and picking up the apples that had rolled towards him.  
   
Ueda was as beautiful as always. His copper hair was mussed, pulled up into a sloppy ponytail atop his head, loose strands falling about his face. He wore simple jeans and boots, and his shirt was a size too big and was attempting to fall off his shoulder, but Ueda just shrugged it back into place.  
   
Nakamaru had fallen for Ueda the moment he had seen him. Back then, Ueda was wearing thick-rimmed, black glasses, a battered old t-shirt and jeans as he heaved boxes up the stairs to his new apartment. He was all kinds of awkwardly entrancing, and Nakamaru found himself falling head over heels straight away.  
   
“It’s horrible outside,” Ueda said in that deep voice of his. “It’s all cloudy and… horrible.”  
   
Nakamaru laughed. “I thought you liked it when it rained,” he said, handing Ueda the apples.  
   
“I do, but that’s only when I don’t have bags of food.” Nakamaru’s dogs started barking again. “What’s up with your dogs?” Ueda asked, straightening up and trying to unlock his door with an armful of groceries, “They’re acting odd, don’t you think?”  
   
 _You don’t even know the half of it,_ Nakamaru thought, but just smiled. “They’re just jumpy because I’m gonna take them to the vet later,” he replied, and the dogs were suddenly quiet.  
   
Ueda hummed, too focused on getting his key out of his pocket. He sighed, frustrated, and turned to Nakamaru, who had a sinking feeling that he knew what was coming. “Could you get my key out?” Ueda asked, looking annoyed. “I can’t get it with all these things in my hands.”  
   
Nakamaru gulped. “Why don’t I just grab those things from you—“  
   
“No, don’t do that; they’re about to topple off as it is.”  
   
Of course. Nakamaru’s dogs started barking once more, in what Nakamaru was sure they thought was a encouraging way. Ueda was just watching him, shuffling the groceries and waiting impatiently as Nakamaru neared him. Nakamaru’s palms were sweaty as he reached down, awkwardly sliding his hand into Ueda’s jean pocket, his heart pounding.  
   
“I—I got it,” Nakamaru stuttered, sure that his face was beet-red. He unlocked the door for Ueda, who hadn’t even looked up, and followed the other as he stumbled in, dumping his food all over the kitchen bench.  
   
“Phew,” Ueda sighed, “Thanks. Lucky you were there, huh.”  
   
Nakamaru scratched the back of  his neck awkwardly. “Mm. Lucky.” Mentally, he was thinking that an animal shelter sounded like a pretty good place to take those two.  
   
Suddenly, three enormous golden retrievers skidded around the corner, tongues lolling out of their open mouths and tails wagging. They screeched to a halt as they reached Nakamaru, noses to his legs immediately, intrigued by the smells of Nakamaru’s own dogs.  
   
A thought hit him suddenly. Could he understand these dogs?  
   
“Girls, get off him,” Ueda called, “You’re annoying him.”  
   
“No…no, it’s okay,” Nakamaru said distractedly, trying to catch their eye. “Hey, girls. How are you?” he asked in a low voice, making sure Ueda couldn’t hear him.  
   
But they just ignored him, and all he got as way of an answer was a wag of the tail. Nakamaru sighed. Maybe he wasn’t insane, then.  
   
“Ask him to lunch!” Choco’s distinctive voice shouted through the door, and Nakamaru’s shoulders sagged. Nevermind.  
   
“Honestly, what is wrong with your dogs?” Ueda asked, coming around the corner to peer at Nakamaru’s door through his own open one.  
   
 _Everything,_ Nakamaru wanted to reply. “Nothing,” he said, and he was sure he had never felt more nervous in his life before, watching Ueda turn and look at him rather expectantly. “Uuh…”  
   
“Do it now, you great big watermelon!” Choco all but shrieked, and Nakamaru heard a thump from somewhere in his apartment.  
   
Ueda started. “Are… are you sure they’re okay?” he asked, worried.  
   
“We’re fine!”  
   
“They’re fine,” Nakamaru relayed, and Ueda nodded, still looking concerned. “But I should probably go… I don’t know what they’ve broken in there.”  
   
“Nakamaru Yuichi, if you dare leave that apartment without asking him over here, my teeth will meet your anklebone!” Mister threatened. “And it will not be a pleasant encounter!”  
   
“I… was wondering,” Nakamaru quickly added, turning to face Ueda, who had moved back to the kitchen.  
   
“Yes?”  
   
“Would you…uh. I mean—There’s… there’s food… at my place and—dogs, but you—nevermind, I— _would you like to have lunch with me_?” Nakamaru stuttered, and Ueda just stared.  
   
Nakamaru had said that all very fast.  
   
“Sorry?”  
   
“I said—would you… would you like to have lunch with me?” he repeated, his palms sweaty once more. He decided that wiping them on his jeans wouldn’t really be considered polite.  
   
Ueda seemed taken aback, eyes wide and jaw open, and Nakamaru felt rather stupid, taking advice from talking dogs and with sweaty palms. Stupid sweaty palms.  
   
“Sure,” Ueda said finally, and Nakamaru was too shocked to do anything other than mutter, “Thankyou,” before rushing out of the place.  
   
But Ueda was used to him, and just laughed, shouting, “At around one?” before the door slammed.  
   
>>><<<   
   
Nakamaru leant against the door, breathing heavily and glaring at the two dogs in front of him. “You two!” he snapped. “I just—I just invited Ueda to lunch! It’s—oh God, it’s a date; what if he—No, it should be— _I’m talking to dogs—_ “  
   
Mister and Choco exchanged looks, before nodding. “Come and have a cup of tea, Yuichi,” Mister said, leading Nakamaru down to the couch, “You’re hyperventilating.”  
   
“But how are you going to make tea?” Nakamaru all but screeched, “ _You don’t have thumbs!”_  
   
“We get by,” Choco said mysteriously, but Nakamaru never actually got his cup of tea.  
   
“And—Oh no, Ueda’s coming at one, and it’s already eleven—what am I gonna cook?!” Nakamaru leapt up, storming into the kitchen and wrenching cupboards open.  
   
“Yuichi, you have to calm down,” Mister said, following him into the kitchen.  
   
“Why are you always in my way?!” Nakamaru yelped, almost treading on Choco’s paws as he turned.  
   
“Yuichi!” Mister snapped, and Nakamaru found himself staring down at the dog, feeling much smaller suddenly.  “Ueda is coming over, and you need to cook something. You can’t do that if you’re freaking out. You have to think of the foods that he likes, and the foods that you like.”  
   
“But—“  
   
“Everything’s gonna be fine,” Choco said happily, and Nakamaru found comfort in the way his dark eyes shined.  
   
“I can do this.”  
 

  
>>><<< 

  
   
“He’s here! He’s here!” Choco shouted, rushing once again to the door and leaping up at it. “Yuichi! Yuichi! Can you hear me? He’s here!”  
   
“Choco for goodness sake, I’m sure he heard the doorbell when he rang it,” Mister berated, trotting off somewhere – Nakamaru really didn’t care. Ueda was on the other side of that door, waiting to have lunch with him.  
   
Ueda was waiting for him.  
   
“…Maru?” Ueda called, “Are you coming? Don’t you dare leave me standing out here like an idiot, I’ll freaking strangle you—“  
   
“I’m coming!” Nakamaru said, trying to battle with the over-excited Choco.  
   
“…Oh. Sorry. I, uh… won’t strangle you, then.”  
   
“Righto.”  
   
Nakamaru managed to open the door, keeping Choco at bay with his foot. Ueda stood there, in tight jeans and a shirt, smiling sheepishly. “Hi.”  
   
Nakamaru smiled awkwardly. “Hi.”  
   
Choco coughed.  
   
“Come in!” Nakamaru said, quickly remembering his manners and moving back so Ueda could step in. “Choco, down.”  
   
“Hello, Choco,” Ueda said happily, bending down to pat the excited little animal. “How are you?”  
   
“He’s fine,” Nakamaru said stiffly, before Choco could get a word out. Just in case.  
   
“It… was a rhetorical question, but thanks for letting me know,” Ueda laughed, straightening up again. “Something smells nice,” he commented, moving further into the apartment.  
   
“Ah. Well, it’s nothing, really.” Nakamaru scratched the back of his head, following after Ueda, who had stopped. “What’s wrong?”  
   
Ueda turned back to him. “The table…”  
   
The table was only set for two, a long white runner spread down the centre of the table, a few candles scattered down the middle, unlit. A crystal vase held twigs of cherry blossoms, petals falling onto the table like pink snow. It was simple yet elegant, but with the way Ueda was gaping wordlessly at him, Nakamaru was having second thoughts.  
   
“Is it too much?” he asked, mentally berating himself for listening to a daschund. He knew they should have left off the candles.  
   
“No,” Ueda breathed. “It’s… it’s beautiful. Really,” he added, laughing at Nakamaru’s disappointed face. “No-one’s ever done something like this for me.”  
   
Nakamaru wanted to say something like how Ueda deserved more, or something really romantic, but instead tripped over Choco and the words caught in his throat. He glared at the little dog, who just barked once and trotted away.  
   
But Ueda hadn’t noticed anything, intrigued by the candles. “I like how they’re not lit,” he said, smiling. “It makes it look… I don’t know… homey?”  
   
Well. That wasn’t exactly the look Nakamaru had been going for, but he’d take it. “Thanks.”  
   
He told Ueda to sit, which he did, chuckling a little at the way Nakamaru’s hands were shaking. Mister trotted back out of the kitchen, nodding slightly as he passed Nakamaru, and put his front paws on Ueda’s knees, quietly asking for attention.  
   
“Oh, hello,” Ueda laughed, “You are a polite little fellow, aren’t you?”  
   
Nakamaru grumbled about Mister as he prepared the food back in the kitchen. It was nothing too fancy; just spaghetti, but he had brought out wine and made garlic bread, which he had rescued just in time. It was only slightly burnt.  
   
Throughout the meal, Nakamaru couldn’t get his words out, stuttering and stammering and tripping over his own tongue. But it didn’t seem like Ueda minded; he was laughing and poking fun of Nakamaru the entire time – so, nothing different than usual.  
   
The dogs were just under the table, pulling Nakamaru’s pant leg when they thought the conversation was lacking and happily snapping up the leftovers that Ueda was feeding them sneakily.  
   
“So, Yuichi,” Ueda said, tentatively sounding Nakamaru’s name, sending chills up Nakamaru’s spine, “What’s the plan for next time?”  
   
Nakamaru dropped his fork. Mister helpfully picked it up, but Nakamaru decided to just leave it.  
   
“N-next time?” He wasn’t sure his heart could handle another lunch like this.  
   
“Next time,” Ueda repeated, regarding Nakamaru over his wine glass. “The next time you take me out.”  
   
It seemed as though Nakamaru couldn’t decide if he should spit out his wine or fall off his chair, and as such, he ended up in rather a strange position, half-off the chair with wine dripping out of his mouth. Not the most attractive face ever.  
   
“Uh. Are you alright?” Ueda asked, trying to hold his laughter.  
   
“Fine,” Nakamaru said, once he had managed to swallow what was left of his wine. “I’m completely fine, and I cannot talk to dogs. Ueda,” he said seriously, “I can’t talk to dogs.”  
   
Ueda stared. “Okay. And I can’t use a computer.”  
   
Nakamaru blinked. “Well, yes, I had to help you hook all that up, remember?”  
   
Ueda laughed. “Yup, and then you got all tangled in the wires…”  
   
“…shut up.”

  
   
>>><<< 

  
   
“That was fun,” Ueda said, standing in Nakamaru’s doorway, smiling contentedly. “We should do it again.”  
   
“Definitely,” Nakamaru said, his heart in his throat. This was exactly like his dream, and it was starting to scare him.  
   
Ueda cocked his head at him, looking at him expectedly. “Are you gonna ask me?”  
   
“Ask you what?” Nakamaru asked blankly.  
   
“Ask me on another date,” Ueda said, smiling in that way of his.  
   
“Oh.”  
   
“Nevermind.” Ueda turned, acting as though he were angry, but Nakamaru caught the hint of a smile on his face.  
   
Nakamaru rushed after him, grabbing his arm and turning him back around before he could enter his apartment. “Did you need something?” Ueda asked, smirking.  
   
“Would you like to go on another date with me?” Nakamaru asked, voice barely even audible. Ueda was quite beautiful up close like this.  
   
“I think I already said I did,” he chuckled, and Nakamaru glared.  
   
“Work with me here,” Nakamaru muttered. “Okay. Would you like to go to dinner with me on Saturday night?”  
   
Ueda drew Nakamaru closer, until their faces were inches apart. Ueda smelt of strawberries and peaches, and some kind of flower. Rain. And something that was just so distinctly Ueda.  
   
So it was Nakamaru who leant down first, pressing his lips lightly against Ueda’s, feeling his skin light on fire as Ueda kissed him back. “You didn’t let me answer,” Ueda breathed, but kissed Nakamaru again, sweetly.  
   
“I’ll just take that as a yes.”  
   
Behind the door, Mister and Choco barked happily.

 

   
\--the end


End file.
